Oh Microsoft.

Who did you have vetting your Windows 7 party participants? I know you didn’t let everyone play because I know several people who applied and didn’t get selected. Yet, for some reason, you chose me?

Me who works at a company that your upper management seems to want to obliterate?

Me who publicly derides Windows whenever the mood fancies?

You could have Binged me and found out all this stuff yet still, somehow, you decided that I’d be a good person to throw a forced promotion party for your new OS (or is it a Service Pack with a shiny new title).

I’ll be the first to admit, I signed up for it. See my mom just got a new computer with Windows Vista. She hates Vista. Like, a lot. I promise I had nothing to do with that but you should have seen the smile on my face when she called and told me so. She repeats it too. Anytime we’re talking about her computers, she tells me. Even went so far as to have me put “Om-boo-tu” on her older computer with Vista just so she didn’t have to deal with it anymore. Promise. So when I got the opportunity to maybe give her a version of Windows she didn’t despise (for free!), I didn’t pass it up.

So here we are. You’ve selected me. I am a woman of my word so I will have the party.  We may even discuss Windows 7. Like so “thanks for the playing cards Windows 7! I’m all in” or “thanks for the fancy tote bag Windows 7. It’s perfect for my gym shoes!”

Anyway, I know you’re looking for promotion with this whole thing so far be it from me to begrudge you your shine. Here, I will unbox this party pack you sent me. You’re welcome.

[pie left]

Windows 7 Box

Box

It's here!

It's some junk in a box!

Nope, not fake.

Random crap from various vendors that I'm supposed to give party guests.

Puzzle and Playing cards. I'm thinking poker.

Centerpiece, Napkins, Balloons, Streamers

Letter, Windows 7 Ultimate Signature Edition (wtf?) 32bit and 64bit versions.

Poster.

Party bags for guests to put the crap from vendors I'm supposed to shill.

The whole shebang, minus box.

[/pie]

So there it is. Thanks Microsoft?

“You may have noticed that March of this year was particularly hot. As a matter of fact, I understand that it was the hottest March since the beginning of the last century. All of the trees were fully leafed out and legions of bugs and snakes were crawling around during a time in Arkansas when, on a normal year, we might see a snowflake or two.

This should come as no surprise to any reasonable person. As you know, Daylight Saving Time started almost a month early this year. You would think that members of Congress would have considered the warming effect that an extra hour of daylight would have on our climate. Or did they?

Perhaps this is another plot by a liberal Congress to make us believe that global warming is a real threat. Perhaps next time there should be serious studies performed before Congress passes laws with such far-reaching effects.”

Well then. That solves that.

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